Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Maybe Birth Family: Disappointed But Still Hopeful

As we all know (or can imagine), searching for an adoptee's birth family (or a family's birth child) can be extremely emotionally exhausting for all involved.

Last year, I responded hopefully to an ad I found in an adoption story that sounded a little like our story--same/similar birth date, lots of confusion, geographical potential. The family member I contacted seemed to agree that it was possible.

We shared photos of both families, and we both agreed that there was a marked resemblance.

"Your family would fit right in at Christmas," she told me.

And then, she found out that her family member was adopted from Kansas City, KS, not the other Kansas City (in MO), as they'd originally believed.

And so was my husband--adopted from Kansas City, KS.

Suddenly it seemed actually possible to find out what happened in that phone booth 40 years ago. 

We both requested our respective family member's adoption files from the state of Kansas. After several weeks, we received my husband's records, but much to our dismay, they were very little help as far as identifying any birth family.

My husband was released for adoption by an officer of the juvenile court of Wyandotte County--not by his birth mother or father. There was absolutely no indication in the slim file (at least nothing we have yet been able to detect) of heritage or parentage.

The would-be relative and I lost touch soon afterward, sadly. I have to assume that she found her actual long-lost uncle and has moved on. I wish her and all the other adoptees and birth families who have been able to reunite nothing but goodness and love. And as for those who are in our situation, ever-searching, still seeking--I offer empathy and support.

Here's hoping that the next clue takes us all where we want to go.

Are you searching for your birth family or a birth child? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section, below.

Monday, February 25, 2013

Compelling story, similar to ours. I found this over at Experience Project. Though it was posted four years ago, my hope is that I can help the author connect with the birth family if he or she hasn't already.

"I was adopted at birth by a very loving couple w/ 3 daughters of their own which i call my sisters. They have loved me & pretty much treated me as one of their own biological son & brother to which i am forever grateful. At a very young age right of the bat, they told me that i was adopted by them...the story was that my birth mother was a housemaid who got impregnated by her own boss, which is my biological father. I was curious when i was at my teen years to find my birth mother to ask her as to why she abandoned me. Apparently the the surgeon who delivered me, who happens to be also my godfather & gave me to my adoptive parents told me..."

(Read full story at Experience Project.)

Issues Faced By Adopted People

Issues faced by adopted persons:

1. It is very common for those who were adopted to feel rejected and abandoned by their birth parents. This is accompanied by feelings of grief and loss. There is no set time or age when these feeling surface but, sooner or later, they do.

2. Feelings of loss and rejection are often accompanied by a damaged sense of self esteem. There is an understandable tendency to think that "something must be wrong with me for my birth parents to have give me away." It must be understood that these feelings and thoughts are unrelated to the amount of love and support received from the adoptive parents and family.

Read Full Article at MentalHealth.net

Abandoned Babies Need to Know Who Found Them

Babies who are abandoned at birth suffer long-term emotional and social problems, and have difficulty adjusting to parenthood themselves, because of an over-riding belief that they were "thrown away" by their mother, psychologists said yesterday.

Click to read full story at The Independent

  • Adoption
  • Birth Moms
  • Birth Family
  • Seeking Birth Family 
  • abandoned as a baby 
  • seeking birth son 1972

Abandoned 40 Years Ago, Seeking Birth Family

My name is Angie, and I've started this blog to help my husband find his birth family. We've exhausted all other options, as far as we can tell, so we're taking our search to the internet.

Here's what we know. 

This is my husband at about 2 years old.
My husband was born on or about June 6, 1972. Within 12 hours of his birth, he was found by a passerby in a telephone booth at 7-Eleven at 4039 Metropolitan Ave. in Kansas City, KS around 9 a.m. on June 7, 1972.

According to an article we found about his situation, he was supposed to be taken to a foster home until authorities could either locate his mother or birth family or until he could be adopted.

He was adopted by his adoptive parents by June 20, 1972.

His adoptive father passed away when my husband was 12, and his adoptive mother continued to raise him. He has always been loved, cared for and generally treated very well by his family and in fact has no desire to replace them--we just want to learn about his birth family.

We did obtain his original birth certificate from the state of Kansas, and his name was listed as "Stephen Michael Doe." We assume the name was given to him by someone who found him, the nurses at the hospital or maybe the foster family.

His mother tells us she and her husband went to a home in Kansas City where a friend of theirs who was also a judge showed up with the baby. Sometime later, the three went to the courthouse and met with a social worker, who produced a semi-detailed report about the visit (we have a copy, and I will upload it as soon as I can).

The Atkinsons, my husband's adoptive parents, left the courthouse that day with him and the adoption approved. It was finalized sometime later. 

The Search

Since the first time my husband told me about his story, I've been very curious about his birth family. But once I gave birth to his children, my curiosity changed into an intense need to learn about his biological family.

My husband has never tried to search on his own, but when I told him about my search and showed him what I'd found so far, he was excited and has been supportive of my efforts.

We hope to find someone who is biologically related to him (or who might have any information about him and his biological family) to offer insight into his genealogy and, if all parties are comfortable, maybe to form a friendship or to at least open the lines of communication.

Do You Have Information Concerning a Baby Born and Abandoned in June 1972?

If you know anything about this situation, please don't hesitate to contact us at findmybirthfamily1972@gmail.com. We will respect your privacy, and we promise not to cause you any harm, trouble or money. All we seek is knowledge and understanding, and we hope for you to have the same.